It's just been one of those days, so I'm all frustrated and irritable.  Yes, I can get that way, too, lol... even though I'm the 'glass half full' girl, happy in life, never bored, excited about even the smallest creative things.  STILL, there are some days that little things make even ME gripe.  Today was one, sigh....

Have you ever eaten a coconut fresh from the shell?  Not a green one, mind you, a brown one.  The kind you make a hole in, drain out the juice, then crack the coconut and eat it.  I'd done it many years ago and upon seeing some at the grocery, just had to buy one to taste.  What fun, going to relive a memory!  NOW I remember why I buy pre-shredded coconut in bags or in the bulk bins at the health food store.  Arthritis in hands.  Hammering around a coconut shell to crack it, hurts.  A lot.  Back to buying shredded coconut.  Wasn't all that special a taste for the pain involved.  Oh well.

Next up, computers... I used to fix them.  I have fixed a lot of them, for my 'friends', way back 'pre-breast cancer'.  However, chemo put my brain into a 'fog' for the longest time, and it took away my confidence and concentration.  It then took a very long while to convince people that I simply COULD NOT fix their computers and they'd have to go to a proper repair shop, like everyone else.  When I COULDN'T fix their computers, suddenly I didn't have many friends.  I'm sure most of you found that while you were sick, when you couldn't do whatever it is that you did for your friends, they lost interest and wandered off.  You know what it's like.  Live and learn, right?

That's OK, I learned after chemo that I absolutely LOVE sewing again,and writing about it, so this website was born.  For the past years, sewing for breast cancer survivors is the joy of my life.  It makes me happy to sit quietly in my sewing room, reflecting on things and sewing away.  I smile while sewing, it's so therapeutic.  Doing that, designing solutions to problems all of us face after mastectomy, and emailing back and forth with many of you, sometimes as you go through your own treatment, also helped me to regain my focus and concentration.

 Little by little, I was eventually again ABLE to repair my own computers when needed, without getting too stressed out.  I don't really want to, and tell everyone how much I now enjoy sewing instead, but the phone has started ringing.  Three friends with computer problems in four days.  Today was the final straw.  And here we go again.  Not.  The thing is, people usually keep doing the same things that mess up their computers, over and over again, so it doesn't stop.  Ever

Now don't get me wrong, it's a good thing to help your friends with things, and we should.  It just gets to the point where the phone rings one time too many, when people could just 'Google' it themselves instead.

And that brings us to the telephone.  Now, please don't misunderstand... email is great, I love emails, and you all know how very LONG and boring my emails are, because I type fast and don't stop to edit.  like in this 'musing'.  I figure that people don't have to read it all, lol... or can read it later, or delete it entirely, it's fine with me.  :^)

You can answer emails from me, or not, whatever makes a person happy.  Email is nice that way.... laid back...a person can answer one at 3 in the morning when it's convenient.. or wait a week, or just jot back a quick line.  BUT, phone calls are a different matter altogether.  They are an abrupt interruption to stop you from doing something that makes you happy and is important to you, and to be forced to get involved with something important only to the other person.  Right now.  Whether you want to or not. 

Everyone from telemarketers to survey takers, we pretty much don't do more than politely say, "no thank you", but friends, we're polite and listen endlessly because we're friends.  Because we love them...but be honest, when is the last time your phone rang that in the deepest part of your mind you didn't say, "Oh #&%*!?

Life is just too short to endlessly talk to an inanimate object like a phone.  Come to my house and I'll talk to you happily all day long.  Email me and I'll answer anything.  BUT, anyone who knows me well knows that, not ever. I don't like the phone.  That's why you won't find a phone number listed for me on this website.  Anyone anywhere can email me day or night and I'm here for you, whatever you need... but phones make me uncomfortable.  A few minutes, sure.  But more than 15 minutes and I'm pacing around, thinking of all the things I'd rather be doing.  20 minutes and I'm getting REALLY uncomfortable because I only have a certain amount of time to go do what's fun to me (sewing) that I've just spent hours working like crazy to get time to do before having to go cook or clean or pay bills, or do errands, or run to the post office, so those minutes on the phone are not replaceable. 

Half an hour on the phone, and I'm ready to scream, cry, run amuck.  I'm not sure what 'amuck' is, but I'm ready to run it.

Some think I love to talk because my voice sounds calm at that point, but let me assure you, I'm not.  My voice is calm and modulated only because I worked in a counseling center for many years and the more agitated a situation was, the more calm our voices would become to diffuse things.  It's habit... sigh...can't seem to stop it.  Inside though, I'd rather be doing anything in the world rather than talk on the phone to anyone, no matter how much I love them.  OK, so maybe TWO friends are people I can talk to while doing something else, and they don't mind if I put on a headset and keep working, but the rest of them are all very intense people, expecting me to be totally focused on whatever it is that they want me to do for them or figure out for them at that very moment. 

Forcing a person like me to talk on the phone is sort of the same as throwing spiders on a person who hates them, or forcing a friend who's afraid of heights to climb a tree and look down, it's mean.  Really. It is.

Does that keep people from calling in the middle of my sewing?  Nope.  They all want to call me.  And tell me all about their broken computer.  Next thing will be someone sending me a coconut to pay for fixing their computer, sigh.....  Where are my running shoes?  Amuck, here I come!